The Power of Association

There is a wise biblical saying that starts with "Bad associations...and end with good intentions. In the middle of that saying is something that parents, counselors and probably your grandparents have been trying to tell you for years. Don't hang out with the wrong people!!!

What is so important about the people you hang out with? Well, statistically you will tend to become the average of your 5 closest associates. That means if your closest associations, (those people who you allow to speak into your life, you follow the things that they do and aim to the same success level as) if those people are uneducated, unmotivated, mediocre-types, then you will probably end up that same way.

Pretty important stuff, I'd say.

I know that the majority of us have grown up with a set of friends and ideals that served us at the time when we were kids. Like most of those people, we had friends who hung out at the bars, clubs and drank beer all day. That was probably a phase in our lives that served us growing up. It was a childish time of life and for most of us, we decided to get serious about life and start focusing on making something of ourselves.

If you truly want to become successful in life, you have to decide, not only to do some intellectual changes. That is do some studying, take some classes, etc... but that it means you will have to really take stock of the people who you call friends and also those who you are going to associate with. As I said, you will tend to become more like those people, even if you get all the book knowledge in the world.

In my upcoming book "I Did It", I'm going to go into the critical issue of  Associations. So keep your eyes and ears open.

Subscribe to my weekly updates. Follow me on Twitter or Facebook and harness the power that is already inside of you. "If I could do it, so can you."  

Taking on Myself

One of the biggest obstacles to growth is getting past the strongest roadblock to success. Me, Myself and I. That can be a huge hurdle because I am a very opinioate person. Me can be a bit stubborn to change Myself is always second guessing the other two guys decisions.
So how you do settle this connundrum without having the guys in the white jackets take you off in the Ice Cream truck? Well, in my own life I have had to rely on a couple of things that have worked time and time again.

#1 Go with your first instinct. This may seem like a no-brainer but most people can't get past this first obstalce. They are always second and sometimes third guessing themselves. In an effort to "Get it Perfect" on the first shot, they waffle and teeter on a decision to the point where they don't make any move at all.
Case in point is a client that I one had who spent literally months on making a decision that cost his company thousands of dollars. He just couldn't make his mind up.  Or another client of mine who was given the proverbial "Goose that laid the golden egg." All he had to do was jump on the opportunity and let the details work themselves out. This was a 6 figure waffle. Which leads me to my second point.

#2 You will make mistakes- Mistakes are part and parcel in the process. Rather than individuals accepting this part of the process,they do everything they can to not make a mistake and there in lies the problem. When you live in a world where you don't proceed because you don't want to make a mistake, you miss opportunites to see newances of your original intent.
What I mean by that is that you will never become innovative if you don't see the green in the brown or the yellow in the orange. You aren't looking for the ancillary effects of your project so when they occur you are oblivious to them. Which leads me to my third and final point.

#3 I can learn from my mistakes- Didn't I just say that? If you aren't willing to move forward because you are afraid of making mistakes then how can you learn from your mistakes?
I was working on a project when someone came in with an idea that blew my original idea out of the water. Rather than wallowing in my own tears, I quickly regrouped and studied what  I had been doing. This redirecting of my thinking enabled me to change directions. I learned from this mistake and added to my repetoire a valuable piece. Without making that mistake, I would have never been able to learn from that mistake.

This is your chance to do the same. If you want to continue to move ahead in your business, family or career, don't be afraid to make some decisions, right or wrong and if you do make a mistake learn from it and gone on. Life is too short to look back and say, "If only...

Sherman

Only Time Will Tell

The last month or so has been pretty hard on me. I’ve had some great highs but also some deep lows. On the high side, I’ve been training for a marathon. This has probably been the most intense thing that I’ve been a part of. Every other morning I’ve had to rise out of my quite comfortable bed and beat my mind and body into submission. You see, it isn’t all glamorous being a runner. The stories of having throngs of well-wishers urging you on every morning are huge exaggerations. Not only is it a lonely and sometimes frustrating calling in life but getting out of the bed really sucks.

I’m finally past all of the mind games associated with running now but it took some time to cross than chasm. My weekend runs are now half marathons and better. Woohoo… but it would be nice to have a running partner to share in the pain.

On the low side of the past few months, we felt the loss of my blessed mother. A few weeks ago I received the call that Mom was going into the emergency room. When I arrived, she looked healthy and full of spirit but that was just a façade. My mom was shortly going to change from elderly to eternal and I would get to witness every last moment of it by her side.

That time passed like an eternity. What was only a few weeks felt like an endless parade of contradiction and confusion. I knew early on that this would be the last of my mom’s earthly life. There was that nagging feeling that her life would soon pass into eternity but it would take just a little more time. Maybe it was so that we could get our emotional minds around it. Maybe just so that our far off family could be make arrangements. Whatever the reason, Mom would linger for a full 2 weeks and then only a few hours after her priest gave her communion and her final prayers did she slip into the Fathers arms.

I received the call at 1am. Mom had passed away, come down and say goodbye.

The last few weeks have been a sobering reminder of my own mortality and legacy. How do I want to be remembered? What will I leave for my step-children and my wife? Who will remember me with fond memories? Will anyone come to my funeral?!!! Only time will tell. Only time will tell.

Sherman Ray is an author, speaker, radio personality and Leadership Development Coach. He is also the founder and President of the Diversity Networking Group. For more information on him or if you would like to book Sherman to speak at one of your company functions go to www.shermanray.com or www.redlettermedia.net.

Send Me My Flowers Now

As many of you are finding out, my blessed mother, who is nearly 92yrs of age has roundedthat corner of life. I recieved the call that she was being rushed to the hospital. For the next week theere would be a procession of well-wishers and sincerely interested friends and family members, all of them endeavoring to pay their respects and honor the women they had all come to know as the "Tough old Bird".

As Mom lay there I remembered a profound conversation I recently had with a dear client. She too was interested in the condition of my mom. I told her how confused and somewhat angry I was becoming. Mom was a proud women. She was tough and matt of fact about most of life. If you didn't want her opinion on a subject, then you probably shouldn't ask her. She was the kind of person who would walk up to those young boys who were wearing sagging jeans and pull them up for them.

Mom was truly her own person. You could say all you wanted and her methods but you always knew where you stood with Mom.

That's the Mom I wanted everyone to remember, not the shadow of herself but the vibrant Jamaican Bird. As people paraded into the darkened room and gasped at how far she had fallen all I could think was, "This is wrong!" If you wantec to convey your love and respect to MOM, then you had your chance.

I know it might sound harsh but when my time comes for me to go home please don't be surprised if visitors are not allowed. Spend the time now conveying your love, honor and respect. Send My Flowers Now while I can still appreciate their smell. When I am on deaths door the sweet smell of flowers won't do me any good. So friends Send Me My Flowers now...

The Capacity and Will of Man

As many of you know I've been training for a local marathon here in my home town. What that means is that I get up 3 or 4 times a week and beat the heck out of myself in a effort to condition my body for the ultimate test of endurance that only 1% of the people on this planet are willing to do.
It has been a very rewarding, if not pleasurable experience. Imagine if you will, leaving the cool comfort of a feathery soft bed. You've just gone into act three of a dream that we can't even discuss here in public. The pillow, whom we will call Sheila, is as close to you as the umbilical cord was before you came out of the womb. Ahhh...
Next, you are stretching in the parking lot. The pain of your joints is only eclipsed by the sound of your knees. Crunch, crunch, crunch. The sound briefly reminds you of a bag of Cheetohs.
The next thing you can think about is your lungs burning as you expel last nights revalry. I can recall it was Mexican food and a bottle of Nehi punch. Now all I can hope for is that the heartburn will only last for the first two or three miles, followed by the pressure of gas from the refried beans.

Five miles, then six miles pass as you start to feel a sense of confidence begin to surge within you. You say to yourself, "I can do this, I've gone much farther." Even the uphills seem relatively easy to you because once again you've traveled this road before.
Finally, your goal is in sight. No more need to stress and strain. You couldn't stop now even if you wanted to. Your pride at this point would carry you over the finish line. You imagine now the cool drink of water, the exhileration of knowing you've made the distance and finally, how sweet it will feel to tell everyone that you made your distance.

That is the capacity and will of man to do anything and everything that he puts his mind to. There is nothing that a man cannot do if given the right circumstnces and the right motivation. It is just up to you to figure out what those "WHY" reasons are.

Sherman Ray is a Motivational speaker, author, entreprenuer, radio personality and Founder and President of the Diversity Networking Group. To find out more information on Sherman go to www.ShermanRay.com

A Runners Lament

This gives me a lot of encouragement. I've been able to fight against my own demons to keep on a fairly regular schedule. It can be a monumental bridge to cross when you've got years of bad habits that don't want to let go and replace them with habits that literally add years to your life, build up your self-esteem and give you rock hard buns...  

             

Just an update for those of you who are keeping up with my training for the Las Vegas Marathon, scheduled for the end of 2012. I am currently up to 5 miles a day running. WooHoo... That means I've gone from barely being able to make it 400 yards without stopping in January, to consistently making it 5 miles in April. At this rate I will be up to a half marathon on the weekends for a few months way ahead of the date that the actual run is scheduled.
You would think that if we all knew the health benefits of running, swimming or bicycling there would be a line around the  corner to get at the latest gym equipment or workout tape. The truth is "No one wants to work for the good stuff, it hurts too much." As a future millionaire, philanthropist or father-in-law, you've got to get in the habit of doing not just the right things but the hard things in life.
Life is full of people who are satisfied with just getting by. They are at the grocery stores, in the the checkout lines, in the unemployment lines and the first ones in line for government handouts instead of doing everything they can to make it.
I recently listened to this wild man, his name escapes me, but he was all about self-determination, pulling up yourself by your own bootstraps and stuff like that. I love to hear that message being preached. People need to be encouraged to dig deep to get what they want.. Once they've tasted a bit of success and there is some affirmation, then they are more likely to continue.
Each morning when I get up and have to put on those running shoes I'm dreading the pain I know I will have to endure, the mental fatigue and the struggle within my body to stop but I am encouraged by the thought that it is only a mind thing. My body is still capable of making the distance, it's just my mind that needs to get with the program. So I just continue on knowing that if I just stop thinking myself out of victory, then victory is mine. It has to be.
You can have victory also in your life. Stop thinking yourself out of your victory. Refuse to allow self-doubt, self-pity or self-defense to ruin what you are destined for. The victory will be yours if you just continue to do the things that you know should work for good. Like making a cake with the right ingredients, heat and time the product must be a cake. Don't take it out before its time. Let it become what it is supposed to become.
A cake.
So here's to all the runners, emerging stars and success stories. A word of encouragement, that I hope you will take for what it is. You are destined to win, you are destined to rule and yes you are destined to become a great man or woman if you just get out of your own way and become the best YOU.

Spread the Love Grow Yourself

I'm currently working on my 6th seminar of this short 2012 season. It's been an exciting time in my life and the ideas are flowing like never before. In the past few months we've produced so much great stuff that I'm going broke buying journals.

This latest seminar is going to be on the subject of catapulting your business and personal into the stratosphere by using 8 critical steps. I'll just share one of them with you here. If you'd like the complete series I'll make it available in the next few weeks.

What is the one thing that sports athletes do when they get to the finish line? It is something that occurs no matter if the athlete is way out in front of they find themselves neck and neck with a competitor. That's right, they stretch to reach the finish line. This is what makes the difference between the person who wins and the person who WINS.

The winner in the game of life, business or whatever is the person who isn't satisfied with just winning. They make a mark on whatever they are doing by going the extra mile, foot or nose to get all they can out of the thing they are putting effort into. In order to really living a life of Dynamic Potential we have to go that extra mile, even when we've "Finally Arrived".

This concept is something that we'll explore in greater depth during my upcoming webinar. Be sure and request to be put on the mailing list so that you can receive all of the notifications on a timely basis.