What Every Introvert Needs to Know About Networking When the Calendar Flips to 2011

By Allison Sousa

Allison Sousa
Level: Basic

Allison Sousa founded Word's Out in 2010 after several years of successfully offering marketing and public relations services on a freelance basis. During this time, ...

You hear about it all the time for a reason: Networking is where it's at! Before you cower under your chair, hear me out.

Informal Networking

Many people count on "word-of-mouth" to fuel the growth and success of their businesses. The "aha" link that isn't commonly made is that "word-of-mouth" is virtually synonymous with "networking!" While successful word of mouth referrals might not be a direct result of your own efforts, they are the result of those within one of your networks telling others about you.

If you are at all pondering the previous paragraph, then one of the first things to come to your mind should be the realization that you have networks. If you didn't, you wouldn't be seeing word-of-mouth referrals appearing at your door. So, whether you realize it or not, you are engaging in networking. You are connecting with someone, on some level, and giving them a reason to tell someone else about you.

Informal networking might take the form of serving your customers in a positive manner and asking them to share their experiences with their friends (Or, for the mega-introverts out there, "hoping" that they will share it with others to avoid passing out at the mere thought of asking them.)

It might be attending your weekly card clubs or coffee clutches. It might be communicating with friends & family. Or, you might belong to a civic club or other volunteer organization whose members know what you do for a living and regularly refer others to you because they know you're a nice guy. Regardless of the format, you are letting it be known who you are, what you do and what you seek, even if only to those closest to you. To my introverted readers, that is networking! (See now? It's not so bad!)

Formal Networking

So let's move on to a discussion about formal networking. It is typically the formal venues that scare the bejeebers out of introverts. While informal networking can be effective, make a resolution to take the next steps. Nudge yourself out of your comfort zone, find some formal venues, and polish & apply a few basic networking skills.

When most people think of networking, they think of chambers of commerce, Business Network International, e-Women and other organizations that list "networking opportunities" among their primary reasons for existing. These organizations offer meetings and events specifically designed around networking.

The beauty of planned meetings & events is that the networking "structure" is already in place. All you need to do is show up, make connections and build relationships. As an added bonus, the organizations worth their salt also offer training to teach you how to network before throwing you to the proverbial wolves.

Ramping up your networking efforts...gently, of course

Even without these organizations, you can creatively formalize your networking efforts. For example:

1. Have special business cards printed up that make the "ask" for a referral for you. Hand them out to your customers, friends, family, club members, church family, etc. You can even offer an incentive - like a discount on a future purchase - for generating referrals.
2. Keep in touch with your current customers to continue building trust and ongoing relationships. Make sure you have their contact information so you can send newsletters, thank you notes, birthday or holiday cards, coupons, etc.
3. Develop an online social media presence and position yourself as the "expert" in what you do. If your dislike of networking is surpassed only by your disdain for technology, then get help. You want to become a trusted, household name to your target markets and social media is an inexpensive way to build that network...at a comfortable distance, I might add.
4. Ask close friends or associates to introduce you to people or maybe even accompany you to a networking event. Having someone by your side that you know and trust can take a lot of the fear out of meeting new people and can help generate topics of conversation.
5. Partner with other business owners to generate cross-referrals. For example, if you are a plumber and a customer hires you to fix her leaky, outdated dishwasher, have the business card of a trusted appliance salesman handy. Likewise, that honest appliance salesman will tell a customer when a good plumber can save her dishwasher, instead of spending money on a new one, and will refer her to you.
6. Since most of us (even the outspoken extroverts among us) don't like bragging on ourselves, there are subtle ways to ask others to do the bragging for you. Place comment cards on your check-out counter. Ask for testimonials on your Facebook or other social media page. Let your happy customers do the bragging. The bonus to this strategy is added credibility for you and what you do.
7. Volunteer some time with a charitable organization for which you are passionate, that might benefit from your skills and talents. For example, if you are a graphic designer, you might be able to help the local food bank with its newsletter or posters for a special event. Handy with a hammer? Then check with your local Habitat for Humanity to see how you can assist on the next build. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and further build your reputation, while helping your community at the same time.
8. Read, read, read! There are a plethora of books, blogs and other resources out there that can teach you how to network and even take the fear out of it. The more you engage your brain on the topic, the less threatening and more viable actually doing it will become.
9. Master the skill of being able to describe what you do in 60 seconds or less. Commonly called an "elevator speech," think of it as just that. Mentally place yourself in an elevator with the potential client of your dreams. You have 60 seconds to introduce yourself and engage his interest. What would you say? Could you do it in 30 seconds? Develop these tools. They will become priceless to you and if you have practiced them, will make networking much less awkward and much more rewarding.
10. Above all, be yourself! Remember, networking is just as much about building trusted relationships as it is about meeting new people and getting your name out there. Being true to yourself and your business is one of the best tools you have to help you climb the delicate trust ladder.

Once you really understand the benefits of networking and grasp the concept that each person you meet knows or comes into contact with hundreds of others, learning the tools becomes much less intimidating. You don't have to start by launching yourself into a formal networking group - although many of my own admittedly introverted colleagues have fessed up that doing just that has helped them immensely. Just do what feels comfortable and work up from there. Try to thoughtfully track your progress. At some point, you will experience an exponential shift in the power of networking. Heck. You might even think it's fun!

Allison Sousa, MBA, is the founder & president of Word's Out Marketing & PR, LLC, located online at http://www.WordsOutMarketing.com. As a member of the Ezine Articles community, she provides helpful and personality-packed articles on topics such as: communications, marketing, small business management, non-profit management, public relations, networking, social media and smart business. Allison invites you to offer suggestions for article topics or subscribe to her RSS feed by visiting http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Allison_Sousa.

2011 in Review

Many people are probably looking at the title to this blog and thinking. Hmm Sherman must be getting tired. He has this glaring typo. Well let me put all of your worries to rest . I not only am not suffering from a case of the sleepies but I am as excited and wide awake as I can be.
2011 IS going to be one of the best years of my life. So I justed wanted to tell you from the get go what this year will look like. Instead of looking back on the year and seeing what the year did to me, while I thrashed and avoided the pitfalls of life, I plan of making my own way this year. This year is going to become my instrument for change.
This is a huge departure from what we are all used to, I know. What we usually do is make resolutions of things that we hope to accomplish. We plan to loose weight or go on vacations, etc.. but about 2 or 3 weeks into the year we forget even where the paper was that we wrote down our goals.
With telling everyone what your year looked like in review you are literally speaking those things that you know will happen, into existence.
Once again, I'm hearing in the background grumblings of disbelief. That's alright. Don't let me rain on your parade of doubt. My job isn't to convince you of the facts. My job is just to report to you what I've already done in the year 2011. Your job is to sit in amazement as one by one these prophecies are fullfilled in your hearing. Or, you could adopt my philosophy and do the same thing. Speak of those things that are not yet as though they already are.

-During the month of January Linda (the Lovely Mrs Ray) and I started to read through the entire bible. We got some much closer, rekindling a past practice we had of talking before we went to bed.
-Also in the month of January, I finished a leadership development course for the HOPE organization. We started receiving our first clients and added new teachers, mentors and life coaches.
-Linda lauched her new business. She already got clients who were asking for her advice
-Linda and I celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss. Got some well deserved "me and my sweetie" time.
-My daughter Kisha made a major announcement to the family.
-Our business caught fire in the month of March. We added people at a rate that even amazed me.
-April and May were some of the weirdest months for weather. It cramped my style with working out but Linda and I both pushed through with our weight-loss program.
-For my Birthday I received a special gift from my grandchildren. I was so moved that I had to leave the party. (I hate people seeing me cry like a 6yr old school-girl)
-We finally got that event over with. The networking group mixer was a huge success.
-The fourth of July fireworks show was really awesome. This year we celebrated with the entire family.
-It took some time but that skeptical business partner finally joined us. Better late than never.
-Another group of grandchildren started school. They've grown so much.
-Linda and I came back from Florida. We had a great time and are excited about our next trip.
-Thanksgiving was at Mom's house this year. She made her famous Peas and Rice. I guess all of the whining worked, she used real coconut.
-Christmas was more than I imagined it would be. All of the kids and family were there this time. Bern and Tina had a special announcement along with Chris and Kim.

2011 had so many highs and lows but I will always remember it as a year of the greatest change for me and my family.

A Christmas Wish- Your Very Best

Today marks a huge milestone in the annals of sports. The UConn ladies basketball team does something that has never been done before. With todays win they have forever put their names in the history books as being the all-time consecutive wins leader in any sport. The last team to do such a feet was the UCLA Bruins Men's basketball team. Their feat accomplished many decades before.
The UConn team in and of itself isn't the real story. The real story is in the pageantry of sport and the determination of athletes of all stripes to achieve a goal. That is the real story. Many of you may have seen the movie "Facing the Giants". In this independent movie, produced by a local area church, the coach of a hapless group of students is trying to do something that had never been accomplished in their schools history. Their goal was to win.
The coach had to wrestle with the mentality of a group of people that was used to loosing. They knew  that they were losers and no one was going to sway their own opinion of themselves. Now if that aint a tough nut to crack, I don't know what is. Sometimes it is so hard to get people to believe in your dream. That's hard enough. Not everyone is going to believe in your dream. As a matter of fact, most people won't.
It was said that when MicroSoft was being founded that Bill Gates assembled a large handful of people in his garage and told them that one day there company was going to dominate the software jungle, 2/3rds of the people assembled walked out of that meeting. The rest as they say is history.
So most people won't embrace your dreams but that obstacle pales in comparison to the monumental wall that is erected by the unbelief of one towards their ownselves. This is the problem that the coach in our story was battling.
He, the coach assembled the team for a practice and was discussing the strategy for their game against another school. This game was going to be tough but the coach believed that his team could win. This was not the case for one of his leaders on the team, we'll call him Jake. Jake laid back on the grassy field and challenged the encouragement of the coach and said that he didn't believe that the team could do it. The next 5 minutes of this movie, "Facing the Giants" will forever go down in history, as one of the greatest dramatic moments in movie history.
The coach told Jake that he would prove to him and the rest  of the team that they had more in them than they ever could imagine. He challenged Jake to do an exercise that would prove his point. The manuever was called the "Deadmans carry". One man would walk on all fore's while carrying another man on his back. Jake happily said that he would do the feat at least 20 yards. The coach challenged him and said that he could go at least 30, but no matter the length, Jake would have to promise that he would give the very best effort that he could and not give up. To make things even more interesting, Jake would carry is load blindfolded.
As the exercise started, the coach calmly encouraged his team leader to keep going. Jake would ask from time to time, "How far have we gone so far, coach?" "Don't you worry about that, said the coach. You just give me your very best, you very best."
10 yards, 20 and then 30 yards passed. Jake was starting to show the signs of a man who was discouraged. "It's starting to hurt coach". Don't you stop Jake, you promised me that you would give me your very best. Now give me your best, your very best!!! Another 10, 20, and now 30 yards passed by. Jake started to cry out in pain. "I can't go any further, It HURTS, IT BURNS!!!" "Give me you BEST, Jake you promised me that you wouldn't quit, NOW GO."
At this point, the other team members started to take notice that Jake was really laboring and more than that he was going further than even they expected a man could go. As the coach, who now was screaming at the top of his lungs, slammed the ground in demanding the very last bit of strength that Jake had in him continued on. Jake strained and stretched to muster his very best for his coach and for his promise.
Finally, he could go no further. Jake collapsed in sheer exhaustion. The coach said, "Take off your blindfold Jake, you've just carried a 150lb man on your back over 100yards". "Don't you ever tell me you can't do anything. You've just got to believe in yourself and believe that God is able to give you the strength to accomplish the task."
This story above all illustrates that with man all things are impossible. Whether is be to invent the cure for some dreaded disease or solve some age old problem, like running the mile in under 4minutes. But with God all things are possible. Is there some dream that you have feared starting because you've felt that you are wholly inadequate for the task? Well let me encourage you, The only goal that is not achieved is the one that is not pursued" Pursue your dreams friends, pursue it with the determination of one who wants to give their best, their very best and see what kind of results you get. Like Jake, you may achieve exceedingly abundantly more than you could ask for or even imagine.

End of Year Reflections

What a crazy year this has been. I've gone from riches to rags and back again. Never has the Ray family gone thru so much turbulent waters, all in the same year. Oh there were those early years, when we ate beans and alot of rice month after month but that was when I was going to school and the kids were too young to realize that we were stone cold broke.
We had this Chevy Blazer that needed a new transmission or motor every six months or so. We would have to put the tab on a credit card because we didn't have the funds in the bank. As the years went on we were able to weather the storm much better. I had a great job and the money wasn't an issue. Now things have come full circle and I feel like either we will start all over again or maybe we are going to learn something from the past and this time we are just getting our SECOND WIND.
Now 20 years later my life is totally different. I don't do the same things that I used to do. I don't think the same way. I've gained a bit of weight but nothing too obvious. Yeah, all in all the Ray household has changed. The kids are all grown up now and in fact, we have 8 grandchildren. We've started new businesses and even today my schedule is run by me and not by some boss telling me what to do on an hourly basis.
So what does the future hold for me and my family? That's really what the next 2 weeks is all about. In the next short days that end the year 2010, Linda and I will mapout what we will and won't do in the year 2011. I can tell you now that part of what we won't be doing is wasting time. I can't tell you how much time I've wasted in the last year. Time spent watching television or chasing this venture or that idea. At the tender age of 49 I'm starting to focus my attention on the next 40 years. The difference this time is that I don't have any limitations, like not being old enough or can't get the information.
As I was speaking with a group of business men and women this morning, for our weekly networking group, there is so much opportunity out there that I don't have an excuse not to be successful at whatever I put my hand to. All I have to do is decide what is truly important in my life and then pursue it with passion. The key to this whole thing. GET OFF MY BUTT AND DO SOMETHING.
What about you? Is next year going to be yet another year where you just allow life to pass you by without some much as a sniff of its beauty and content? Or are you going to make it a passionate point that you are going to get involved in your future and make things happen? As for me and my house...

Fadi's Opinion

I recently had a meeting with a local businessman in there in our area.  In and of itself is not too unusual.  Because I meet with businessmen all the time.  Sometimes they are aspiring entrepreneurs, businessmen, or multilevel marketing people at this meeting was different.  In the next few days I was going to see a side of America that I do not ever seen before.  The name of the person that I have met with was FADI.  Fadi was an Christian businessman who was born in Lebanon.  At the age of 13 he already had seen combat because he was in the war.  As I spoke to him I could see on his face that he was a man who had seen death, violence and experienced things that we in America have never ever even thought about.  Not only had Fadi experienced war, but when he came over to America he was about to embark on a journey of enlightenment about what Americans were like from a middle Easterners point of view.  Course it was peppered with explicative’s that I dare not repeat hear but to be sure his speech was very colorful, in a broken English type of tone.

Here’s how the whole thing went. As Fadi and I drove back from a business transaction he kept saying, “ I can speak to you like I know you forever”, so I must tell you. My son… and then he went on to tell me about some of the problems that his beautiful son was having in school. This was a really sad tale. This poor kid got really screwed. Have you ever been the only kid in school with a pair of overalls? Or maybe you were walking the wrong way down a busy corridor? It seems like this kid was in an environment where he was just going in the wrong direction. He wasn’t fully American or should I say Anglo and he wasn’t Hispanic. He looked Hispanic but the kids just didn’t accept him as a Lebanese. As a result he was being picked on year after year. It all came to a head in an incident that ended his stay in our school system. When I heard the story I got really incensed. It wasn’t right that someone who was different had to be subjected to such ridicule. When I was in high school there was a girl, we’ll just call her JB, she was treated in much the same manner. That left awful scars on her emotionally.

Fadi’s son didn’t deserve that treatment. That was act number one.

Act two was my new found friends take on the social system of how we Americans treat our elderly. Fadi’s ex-wife seemingly couldn’t handle the fact that her in-laws were going to be a part of her life on a permanent basis. What I mean is that, they were going to be staying with them. This, according to Fadi was the reason why his wife left. OK, so this isn’t so unusual but this only speaks to the fact that as a society we have more compassion on animals, than we have on our elderly parents, or for that matter the homeless that live on our streets. (authors opinion). Fadi expressed that we have a preoccupation with animals in this country and not on people.

Let’s move on. He had a definite opinion on how we handle people on welfare and the whole cradle to grave mentality of the political parties that represent us on capitol Hill. According to this veteran of war, if we don’t do something about how people take responsibility for their own actions, i.e. pregnancy, drug abuse, illiteracy, etc… then we as a country are committing social suicide.

I wish I could spend more time talking about how angry my friend was about the social condition of this country but I just don’t have time nor space. I just wanted you to get the jist of how passionate other people, who come from foreign lands view their new country. They love this country like none other. They can’t stand the gangs, druglords and apathy within our schools. They see a disintegration of the social fiber in our country. We have throwaway babies and pedigree poodles existing in the same city. All they ask for is the chance to prosper and protect the country that they now call home. Welcome to all of those who yearn for freedom and the chance for a new life, here in America. VIVA America.

Believe In Yourself

Let me tell you a story about some good fortune that came my way this week. I have been really struggline for many months since I changed careers midlife. Bills have been piling up and to tell you the truth I have been getting a little down on myself. Oh, I've kept up a good front. You know what I mean, I've always answered "Fine" when asked how I'm doing. When it was time for prayer in church, I, of course, would stay seated choosing rather to anonymously slip a piece of paper in the prayer box at the back of the room. Yeah I've really been struggling. The funny thing about it all is that I've taught people for years how to become prosperous and be Leaders and all that stuff. I've never ever found myself on the short end of the stick because all of my earthly needs had always been taken care of.
Now I find myself trying to eek out an existence waiting for something to break, and hopefully a break in the right direction. Well that thing finally happened but it wasn't by coincidence or luck that it happened. My break came out of a principle that is at work in all situations that we find ourselves in. That process is the process of sowing and reaping. What do I mean by sowing and reaping? Well let me tell you.
For many years, I've always taught and been  taught to give. When you give you activate some pretty heady things in the atmosphere. Without going into a huge Christian thesis on the subject, it looks something like this. When you workout everyday, eat the right kinds of food and get plenty of rest, what is the natural outcome? That's right, you get stronger body parts and you feel much better.  Next, what happens when you surround yourself with positive people, read energizing, uplifting books and don't allow negative influences around you? Absolutely, you become a more positive and happy person. In fact, you even begin to do things that go along with being a positive person. You start to look forward to seeing people. Only positive people. Your fear factor starts to diminish. In my life that took the form of getting off of my backside and start really investing in more people and developing my team in business.
Here's the outcome. After really spending time in prayer, reflection and study things started to change for me. And I don't mean just a small change, I mean a huge change. People started to treat me differently, because they saw me as a different person. I was able to speak to people, with an authority that I didn't know that I had. And guess what, I never saw it coming. I literally was able to change overnight but not overnight. The change took place so gradually and progressively that it was undetectable, even to me.
I want you to try an experiment. For the next 10 days, spend as much time on study and meditation on where you see yourself going as you do on trying to get there. Does that make sense? If you sell on a daily basis, then you should be studying about sales every day for the days that you actually are selling. See if things don't begin to change for you. It is an amazing principle that you will witness. You will begin to change. You can't help but change. Everytime that you put another tidbit of knowledge and inspiration into your psyche you will change.
At the end of the 10 days, set another goal to do another 10 days. Repeat this process for as long as it takes for you to see some miraculous changes in your life. If you are like me and I know that you are, by the end of 30 days you are going to begin to reap a harvest of prosperity and influence that you've never experienced before. And it all started by you doing a simple thing. Believe in Yourself.

See the Ship Sailing

The Lovely Mrs Ray and I have decided that we are going to plan for our future. One of the things that WE'VE decided to do is plan on moving to Florida in the next 3 years and open a business down there. We're extremely happy and expectant about the upcomeing move. So this is what we've done.
First of all we decided that we would start positioning ourselves for the move. That means selling everything that we don't plan of taking and lightening our financial load here in Vegas.
That's not what I want to relate to you but everything is relational. So I put my beloved 1998 Ford F-150 in the paper. I entitled the add Red Hot Chilli Pepper and within 5 hours I had 5 offers for my truck. I was almost panicking because I love my truck. When I say that I love my truck you must understand this, I bought that dear sweet truck as a present for myself upon graduating from 5 years of schooling. So only 2 people have ever driven my truck and only a handful of people have ever even washed her either. I have never had a bit of trouble with her, so it is hard for me to even think that I would ever sell her.
I called one of the guys on the list and he came over to see her. Before I walked out the door I made sure that I put some business cards in my pocket. I figured that if this guy didn't buy my truck I would at least tell him about the opportunity I could give him.
After test driving the truck Fadi, the guy looking to buy my truck kind of hymmed and hawd about it being a stick shift and how his son, whom he wanted to purchase the truck for, wouldn't be able to handle the mechanics. I went into pivot mode and started to tell him about where Linda and I wanted to move and how we had started a new business and all. I was being as sincere as I could be. I knew that the truck was probably going to be a bust so why not tell him about my business.

Count Me In

Fadi is a business man. He already has a business and so he recognized the potential of my business from the first mention of it. He is from Lebanon and for the past numbe of years has tried to build his own business in the Vegas valley. The reason why I know that he got it was that he tried to contact me about the opportunity 3 times the rest of the day. He even tried to contact me the following day. I was really stoked. He told me that not only was he really super interested in the business but that he had already started speaking with other people who like wise might be able to get involved. We call these kind of people RED APPLES. These are the kind of people who are so ripe for the right opportunity that you don't have to try and convince them about your opportunity. They already see it and know it will work. Fadi didn't know how to make money yet and yet he was sold.
Why is it that foreigners come over to this country and are able to amass fortunes in such a short time and we Americans, the smartest a brightest, most industriours people on the planet are barely able to eek out an existence in the country where we were born? I am truly amazed that some people get it right off the bat and Americans have to see the ship sailing before they believe it will even float.
I spoke to my dad about this same opportunity and bless his heart, he still doesn't see it. I told him, if you could buy land now, knowing what you know about  present, would you buy as much as you could? It was a backdoor attempt at getting him to see the opportunity of my business. I went on to say, that I was going to make a million dollars no matter who else wanted to but that I wanted My Family to prosper. He still needs more time to think about it. Most of us have been presented with crazy opportunities to become part of billion dollar companies or multi-million dollar ideas and have passed them up. I have a friend who passed on Google and Starbucks, any one of those would have made him crazy rich. Now what about you? Are you going to continue to sit on the sidelines of life and watch others take the chances and reap the harvest of untold millions or are you going to get into the game of life and take your swings at everything that looks and feels promising?
The sure thing is this. If you shoot for the stars and miss it it is better than shoot for poop and catching it.